Assessing Life

I had a post prepared for today and then Dr. Jonathon posted something so appropriate to some of the things I was going to touch on that I’m making some adjustments 🙂

ML and I spend yesterday doing a host of exercises as a couple to talk about our core values, our definitions of success and our dreams. It’s still ongoing, we have a few more things to chat about.

It was interesting, because when I started a year ago I chatted with ML and I incorporated his goals into mine  but it was definitely focused on me and my values. When we were working through activities yesterday it became clear that our core values are quite different. I want to feel in control of my serenity, continue to explore my boundaries and generally seek ways to improve my life and be able to afford lifestyle. ML is focused on enjoying his life and having/being able to display makers of his success.

It was eye-opening to me as I realized that I often gently, but consistently, push him until I get my way so he loses some of the things that are important to him. An example is he has always said he wanted a large home. I’m the opposite so I worked on him until he saw that a large home was not necessarily going to be a happy home. I didn’t want to have to deal with the cleaning and maintenance that comes with a larger property or the hiring of staff and contractors.

Knowing that these markers are important to him gives me the opportunity to be supportive in other other ways. Traveling is important to him as a success marker. He further defined it as being able to take a big trip every other year. Knowing this I’m going to make it a bigger part of my savings budget so that we can take a big trip every 2 years.

There were a host of big activities that we did but in the end it centers around the questions: What are you doing now to help you achieve your goals and be true to your values? This is where Dr. Jonathon’s exercise  was a great thing to find today. I highly recommend doing it to see where the life you’re living and your priorities align.

What did you think of it?

Happy introspecting!


Fast 15


A few years ago my home was too cluttered for my liking. I had branded myself a messy soul since even as a child I couldn’t seem to keep a surface clear. I was in a state of constant mess and hated it. Once I had my home organized it became clear that the root cause of the mess was plain old laziness. After yet another Saturday afternoon spent organizing, clearing and sorting I instituted Fast Fifteen. Here’s how it works: I set a timer for 15 minutes and clean whatever I can in that time period.

That’s it. It turns out the secret to being prepared for unexpected guests was 15 minutes. Clearly deep cleaning is not happening on weekdays but in that 15 minutes I’m able to do dishes, wipe messes or pack away laundry.

Recently I came across this interview with Neen James where she speaks of how manageable our lives can be when we break them into 15 minute increments.

Would this advice work for you?

Photo courtesy of Carlos Porto via