Choices and Shame

I’ve been avoiding my budget and, therefore, blogging in June.  I’ve been shopping and I know that I haven’t been making great frugal choices.


It also doesn’t help that ML has been doing a great deal of the shopping so I don’t have a record in my own bank account of things that I have purchased. I currently owe him about $500.

Here’s how it breaks down, I think:

  • Skin care (more on that later) $300
  • Shoes $50
  • Groceries $70
  • Bunny $40
  • Gas $40

We decided he’d shoot me a bill this weekend so I can have a breakdown in my budget and reimburse him.

The skin care line is what has been shame inducing for me. I tend to be a drugstore girl, I’ll purchase Oil of Olay or Clean & Clear when it’s on sale. Now that I’m getting older I’m seeing that those who pamper their skin have better results in general. I’m currently battling mild acne, acne scarring, and wrinkles!

I also am a woman of colour in a city in which the drugstore clerks try to ‘whiten me’ by selling me foundations that are a shade or two lighter than my skin. To get my colour I need to mix 2 foundations. If one of my colours isn’t in it’s a trial and error adventure as not all stores will offer samples on the less expensive lines.

I wanted to purchase products that are made for my multiple needs, skin colour and were not tested on animals.

So this time I decided to head to Sephora, I often avoid Sephora because their products are great but much more expensive than my usual fare. Thank goodness ML went with me and was able to hold my hand through the process. The woman who helped me was wonderful and did the exact opposite of what I expected: she told me to purchase less things than I anticipated.

She refused to let me purchase a toner, extra moisturizer, eye cream, anti-wrinkle serum, concealer, and scar correcter.  Instead she worked with me to get two moisturizers (day & night) that would address different concerns, cleanser, acne serum and a foundation in my colour. I also purchased the foundation brush she was using as my current brush would waste the expensive product. This purchase in a drugstore may cost me $100.

While thrilled with my purchases I began to feel vain and spend-thrifty immediately. How can I claim to be frugal but throw down $300 on things that no one would even see? I don’t have an answer to that.

Do the products work? Yes! I just went through a week that often sees me having multiple breakouts all over my face and instead I just had 2 small blemishes. Using just 1 foundation has made a huge difference! I’m no longer leaving splotches of foundation on everything that touches my face and I don’t feel like my skin is completely hidden.

I am going to track how long it takes for these products to finish. I purchased them mid-June and with a shelf life of 12 months I’m hoping that based on the amounts they last for at least 7 months. If they do, the monthly breakdown would mean that I would have spent ~$40 per month on them which is the amount I allocate monthly to ‘fashion’ items.

The goal has always been to spend money on things that matter to me. Being able to purchase from a skincare line that does not test on animals is extremely important to me and now that I have the money to do so I am happy with this purchase.

Are there things you purchase that feel exorbitant but worth it?


Photo courtesy of Stuart Miles via

10 thoughts on “Choices and Shame

  1. I do the same thing when I fall off track. I stop writing because I’m embarrassed. However – I feel like sometimes you need to splurge on things that make you feel beautiful and there is nothing wrong with that … sometimes the outside needs to match the inside!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I hope you can let go of the shame. If you have skin concerns and the products are good, maybe that is an area where you budget for it and see if the company has birthday deals or something once a year. I don’t think we should be constrained by the word frugal. Perhaps you are frugal in other areas, like bringing a coffee or lunch to work, so you can afford the skin care.
    I just bought 700 thread count sheets. For me, so worth it. I have just one set. I used my “mad money” – yes I already had sheets, yes there are cheaper sheets. These ones make me happy every time I climb in!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. We just completed part 1 of renovations and my fiance and I decided to get trades in to do every aspect of it. The cost in the end was a lot more than it could have been, and I’ve had so many people tell me what a stupid decision I made but I stand by it. The works were done quickly and professionally and I know we could have saved some money but to me it was well worth it. Our next step is painting and again I know we could save so much money doing it ourselves but the thought of having to spend weekends on end painting just kills me – I’d rather pay the money and be done with it.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Pingback: Reality Check – Saving Without Scrimping

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