Based on comments my post about house and pet sitting I was able to take some money from my parents without feeling strange. My major hangup, I realized was that I make good money and have a steady job. So while the money is nice to have it isn’t necessary. Plus since they also brought me back multiple gifts and gifts for ML, I felt we would be even. Covering my costs felt like excess and that I was taking advantage.
I left them invoices and took money for the true extras that were only incurred because I was living in their home:
- groceries I purchased to make them a welcome home meal ($10)
- Gas for the car ($35)
- Parking permit that my mum needed and I picked up ($35)
I was adamant that I wasn’t going to take money for the car repair, but my mum really felt that was unfair. So we struck a deal: if they allow ML to pay for the items he had asked them to pick up and offered to pay for, then I’ll accept car money.
Much to her annoyance I refused to tell her how much I spent to feed myself, and apparently a quick check of the pantry had her convinced that I hadn’t eaten enough of the food they left. God forbid, I confess that I brought my own wine and didn’t dip into their stash!
In my original post, I mentioned feeling a bit strange about them leaving money for me. I probably wouldn’t have reacted as well as I did to last night’s financial power struggle if it hadn’t been for a colleague, who has a daughter a bit younger than me, who shared:
It doesn’t matter how old you are, you’re your parents’ kid. They can still see the little girl running around and the urge to provide doesn’t go away.
That resonated with me. Suddenly I could see how insulting it would appear that your child doesn’t think you can provide them with some basics.
Thank you so much Rachel and Lauralynne for sharing your thoughts and helping me out on this!