Rant: Judging

I met with the Investment advisor last week and it was an interesting meeting. I have told you that I moved to my current country when I was a teen but I haven’t told you that I’m “a woman of colour.” That term covers a lot of ground so I have no idea who you’re picturing but I’ll leave that to you.

The reason I have never mentioned race is because a non-white immigrant brings up all sorts of ideas. While I like this guy’s values so far I’m seeing where his own bias is going to make this relationship troubling if I don’t speak up soon. He assumes that my parents don’t believe in change, that ML and I have had to navigate cultural differences, and that we still do.

This is our second meeting and I’ve told him he’s projecting. At which he admitted that he was but was attempting to understand where I was coming from.

Here’s my problem,if I were white he would assume that we’re coming from the same place. He wouldn’t attribute the way I handle my life to some other culture but to my personality.

ML and I have had very few societal differences. Like any married couple we’ve had differences based on our personalities. Also I can’t presume that someone who identifies as American is representing all American culture. Rather their family, schooling, and community has shaped them. “Culture” can be too broad a term. It’s like saying all Canadians are polite and apologetic (not true) and assuming a Canadian is polite because of their culture instead of the fact their mother has been asking them for the magic word before handing over dinner.

The other thing this guy does is let me know he paid for my policy and won’t be making any money off me for 10 years or unless I invest $100,000 per year. I should have slept on the deal but I transferred. Now I feel trapped.

To be honest I was lucky when my friend was my investor for years. We spoke the same language and I didn’t feel judged. 

I’m going to stick it out with this guy. He didn’t poo-poo my idea of paying down the mortgage and though he is presumptuous maybe this is my opportunity to educate him.

I think at the next meeting I’ll clear the air and give him a bit of a run down. I suspect his rudeness and, what I identify as, prejudice comes from ignorance rather than true ill will.

If not I’ll keep my eye out for another investor within the company. My mum has said,” I know your word is important but it is your money. You need to be comfortable with who is handling it.”

She’s right and I need to not trap myself because I feel badly about taking my business away.

Thank you for reading!


10 thoughts on “Rant: Judging

  1. Your mom is right. It’s your money and you need to feel comfortable with whoever is handling it. You like his values so far you said, so I think you’re right, it’s time to speak very plainly and get on the same page. Until he understands where you are, how is he supposed to handle your money in a way that’s right for you? It stinks that being a woman of color matters in this case, but clearing the air seems the easiest and best way to handle things. If your ideas don’t come together after the talk, then you know you need to look for someone else. Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! Thanks so much for reading and commenting!
      This wasn’t the post I had planned but it bubbled out and seeing it helps. Your response helps too as it helps me feel that my concerns are valid 🙂


  2. He is working FOR you. Don’t buy into his perspective about him not making money from your current situation. I worked for possibly the only honest financial planner in my area, and they all make money.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m confused. How does race play into investing strategies? A qualified financial advisor should learn the needs and risk factors associated with his or her client’s situation. They should offer advice based on their client’s best interest and should not focus on complicated vehicles that simply earn agent’s large commissions. Do you know anyone whose current portfolio has been managed over several years (including down markets) by this agent/broker? Make certain you are comfortable with this individual’s competency and past results based of clients willing to share their opinions with you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your comment! Especially your first sentences. While I like his original premise I’m definitely uncomfortable with the premise that my race would affect my investing strategies
      Actually I don’t know anyone, when my brother left the company after a brief stint there he recommended this person. Reading the comments I’m realizing that my verbal agreement to stay with the company is making me feel beholden to someone who is providing a service for a fee. I ignored some red flags in our first meeting as I didn’t want to doubt my brother’s judgment and I was thrilled to meet with someone who didn’t think it lunacy I wanted to pay off the mortgage early.
      Next steps appear to interview financial advisors and get references.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Just adding my voice to what everyone has already said. Don’t let him bully you. And this is his job, I promise he wouldn’t do it if he wasn’t making money! Please do whatever makes you comfortable 🙂 P.S. Are you sure you need a financial advisor?? You seem like a VERY driven, competent individual – I have no doubt you could do your own research and handle your own investments like an absolute boss 🙂 Just throwing it out there!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you!
      You’re so kind! I really need to get over my mental block. I allow myself to be overwhelmed when reading about it.
      I really should buckle down and give myself a chance to learn.


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