Krista over at From Food Stamps to Future inspired this post.
I’m married. The reason that this hasn’t come up is because we budget separately. My Love (ML) is wonderfully supportive of my frugal journey and has gamely gone along with a lot of my ideas even when he was rather skeptical of the value of them.
Based on conversation with friends I seem to be in a rather unique position. We kept separate accounts as neither of us wanted to feel like we had to justify purchases to the other or have those my money vs. your money conversations. We split the bills in the sense that we looked at our incomes and figured out who could pay what comfortably. If a bill goes over we chat about it (How was April so bloody cold, we’ve got to wear more sweaters! or Can you ease up on data we went over by XX.) but no one owes overage money.
He pays all the utilities but this doesn’t stop me from being the crazy environmentalist in the relationship. If he pays less on utilities it means he has more money for the things he wants as well as what we want.
We save for joint things as individuals e.g. vacation but spend them as a couple. It doesn’t matter if the saving was 80/20 because we’re in it together. My budget is more detailed as I need lots of structure whereas he has set bills and savings but lumps the rest as spending money. This would be an issue if we were doing it together but separately we can budget in a way that feels good while keeping joint goals in mind.
We talk about our finances often – personally e.g. my monthly planning, the couple stuff e.g. vacations as well as the individual things we might need help with. There are a couple of expenses that would be his that I pay. He doesn’t owe me money, as long as I have the available funds or the item is in my budget it’s his. The same goes with things he gets me.
When I did the Gail vaz Oxlade exercise we realized that I bought the majority of household stuff so it became one of my lines. This sort of division works for us.
This blog is about me and my journey so you probably won’t hear a lot about ML.